Monday, November 3, 2014

Essential Teaching Lesson - Stinky

I will never ever understand the inner workings of boy brains. God indeed made little boys unlike any other creature on this earth. I always remark . . . God laughed when He gave us boys. 

This past week has been disgusting another teaching experience for my two oldest sons. A mom's job is never done.

This is what they learned are supposed to have learned:

1. God placed the knowledge in man to make soap.
2. Soap is a necessity.
3. Showers/baths involve soap.
4. When you are in the shower or bath:
  • Hold the washcloth in one hand and bath soap in the other. 
  • Pour the soap into the washcloth. 
  • Wash entire body, including all stinky parts twice!
  • Stinky parts include but are not limited to: arm pits, butt cracks, butts and private area.
5. Hair must always be washed with shampoo.
6. Shampoo is a staple item in the shower and can be used in the bathtub for shampooing hair too.
7. Pick the shampoo up in one hand and squirt some in your other hand.
8. Apply shampoo to the hair - all over the entire hair area.
9. Scrub hair and scalp.
10. Rinse hair well.
11. Rinse remainder of body.
12. Shut the water off.
13. Use a towel - we actually provide them for your convenience.
14. Dry body and hair well.
15. Go to the cabinet and get the deodorant (remember, I purchased you your very own). 
16. Take the cap off of the deodorant.
17. Roll the deodorant up so it comes out the top of the bottle.
18. Apply the deodorant to the armpit area thoroughly.
19. Take the comb out of the bathroom drawer.
20. Comb hair
21. Get dressed in CLEAN clothes. 
22. Take your toothbrush out of the bathroom drawer.
23. Take the toothpaste out of the bathroom drawer.
24. Rinse the toothbrush.
25. Put toothpaste on the toothbrush. No, a dot is not effective! Squeeze the toothpaste on the toothbrush from one end of the brush to the other.
26. Brush ALL of your teeth - two minutes is the goal.
27. Rinse your mouth.
28. Rinse the sink and wipe it out with the towel.
29. Tidy the bathroom.
30. Take all dirty clothes, towel and washcloth to the laundry room.
31. Drop all dirty clothes, towel and washcloth in the laundry hamper basket.

Don't worry about remembering this list by heart. I will put a copy in the bathroom for your convenience.

While I have you in front of me, there are a few more things I want to mention.
  • Always wipe your bottom after you poop.
  • Always flush the toilet.
  • Always wash your hands with SOAP.
  • Always dry your hands on the towel provided. It is hanging on the towel ring on the wall.
  • Always use the courtesy spray when you are finished.
  • Always put the courtesy spray away.
If you sprinkle when you tinkle . . . Make sure to wipe the seat. The females in the house will thank you. 

Lastly, it is extremely impolite to pass gas in front of someone. It is especially impolite to pass gas, leave the room and then laugh about it.

Don't misunderstand, I know it is normal for a boy to smell weird ~ You run, wrestle, climb, roll around, play in the dirt, etc. However, stinky is not acceptable after bath time.

Know I love you and remember I am NOT being unreasonable or weird. Moms teach you how to take care of yourself and that kind of teaching will definitely be appreciated by those around you. In the future, your wife will be thankful that you learned the above while you were still a child.




The Whitakers said...

hahahaha! I'm going to copy and paste your list. It will save me time! : ) Love ya! Kristi

Julie said...

Go right ahead!!! LOL . . . crazy, weird boys!

Love you too!


Leslie said...

Laughing my head off as I think of your boys and thinking of your explaining this.

Julie said...

You can probably envision them rolling their eyes as I explained VERY specifically! lol

They are a blessing . . . even if they do try to short change their bath!

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