Friday, March 1, 2013

Roles We Assume as They Age

The learning continues on how to care for elderly parents/grandparents as they age and are faced with the cruelness of mental instability. Although formal diagnosis has not been given, research leads us to the term Dementia. 

The disease begins gradually . . .
and worsens with time.

* the same question is asked over and over ~ they don't realize they have asked it time and again.

* there is disorientation as if they are in an unfamiliar place

* time disorientation

* appointments are forgotten

* mood swings are frequent

* things get "lost"

Then there are the accusations toward others . . .

* I am not at fault . . . everyone else is making my life difficult

* Family is doing things behind my back

* denial of outbursts

* loss of initiative

* denial of forgetfulness

* aggression, depression, paranoia

* hoarding

The list goes on and on.

Each and every week, something "happens" due to Dementia.

The claim that something was said or done against them . . .
In their eyes everyone is plotting and lying.
The words . . . "I am not stupid" are said frequently.

Things that were a VERY important part of their day . . .
have been discontinued and there is no longer interest in it.

As the Son, Daughter and Grandchildren, watching them age is heart wrenching. Keeping them happy . . . almost impossible.
Doing what is right for them has always been the focus, but
how does the focus remain when they fight you every step of the way? Their well being has always been first in each and every decision that had to be made. Yet, they cannot see that.

This all reminds me of being a child and fussing with my Mom or Dad because I want what I want. No, things didn't seem fair to me at the time . . . However, now I see things from another perspective . . . the parenting perspective and I know the choices my parents made were for my well being. 

The roles have reversed between Randy and his parents.
He has taken on the role of making sure the right decisions are made for his parents. It has become so much to handle . . . 
even with the assistance of Randy's Sister, Niece and Nephew.
We are truly thankful for them.


3 comments:

Leslie said...

Praying for Randy and your whole family as you make these decisions for the ones you love so much. I know that sharing this difficulty will certainly minister to others that are experiencing the same trial.

Sabrina C. said...

I am 47 years old and my husband is 57 years old and he has been diagnosed with a Rare Form of Dementia at a very early age. Every symptom that you have listed is happening at my house. It is tough when it is your own husband. I would never have imagined that this would have happened to us at this age in our lives. I will know how hard this can be and I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
scarter67@windstream.net

Julie said...

Thanks Leslie!

Sabrina,

I am so sorry you are dealing with Dementia too! Will be praying for you too!

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