Wednesday, March 28, 2012

I BLEW IT . . . BIG TIME

Today was a get out of the house and get some errands run . . . Do you ever have those days you plan out to the "T" only to have it plop on you?

Well, I had one of those kind of days . . . and I wasn't very gracious about it. Let me rewind to the beginning of the day:

The alarm sounded at its normal weekday time . . . I hit the snooze button a time or two and then woke the boys from their slumber. As soon as those growing feet hit the floor it started . . . the teasing, fussing and arguing with one another. I immediately called for them to come to my room and gently, but sternly reminded them that this type of behavior was not nice and is not how we treat one another. (In one ear and out the other . . . I guess that should be in three ears and out the other three ears!) The boys assured me the understood and returned to their bedrooms to get dressed for school. Within mere seconds it began again . . . frustrated that my three youngest sons could not get dressed for school without bickering, I again called them into my bedroom and spoke to each son individually . . . again, they said they understood and had no questions of what they were told. "Do you understand me?" was the question I asked them to make sure they completely understood they were doing wrong, and they answered "yes". Finally, the boys headed to the main floor for breakfast and then off to school for the day. Whew . . . now I can focus on the day ahead.

I made sure Ryan was out of bed, dressed and had breakfast. While he was busy with that, I called my Mom for a chat. It had been a few days since we had the opportunity to chat . . . we love to chat, but when the kids are all home it is almost impossible, so I really enjoy the opportunity to relax in our sitting room while drinking a cup of coffee in the quietness of the house as I chat with Mom.

Ryan began schooling for the day without coaxing . . . Woo Hoo!!! We are down to around five weeks of school remaining and Ryan has Spring fever pretty bad. I was thrilled Ryan buckled down and did his school work so we could easily get out the door to take care of errands.

First stop after we left the house was the Office. Since I have been homeschooling, I rarely get into the office. However, I can accomplish all of my work and keep up with what is going on through technology. Praise the Lord for that! So, when I stopped in unexpectedly this morning everyone was thrilled and had those little "I have a question for you" "Oh good, you are here, I need you to look at this" "Wow, are you a new employee?" and so on . . . I laughed and then took care of "things". I do miss being into work during the week, but am Thankful that at this time in our lives when the boys are young,  I can be there and Homeschool them as we find necessary.

After the office, we needed to meet Randy at Lowes. He had a lunch meeting and was free afterward ~ worked out even though I would have liked to have been done with my errands before I needed to pick up the boys from school. Anyway . . . into Lowes we went and headed for the tile section. We are tiling the boys' bathroom ~ a make over kind of thing and needed wall and floor tile. I found just the right ones at Lowes and was thrilled to show Randy. He wasn't as thrilled as I was . . . the tile had to be ordered AND they didn't have floor tile to match. (Insert frustration here.) Immediately, I sensed my hubs was not going to cooperate with the "design" of the bathroom. He didn't want to wait for the tile to be ordered . . . I found exactly what I wanted and thought we should get it and then look for floor tile elsewhere . . . he thought we should buy it all in one place.

Would you be shocked if I told you I blew it?

Would you understand if I told you . . . I saw the finished bathroom in my head?

This girl KNEW exactly what the room was supposed to look like . . . the HUBS was throwing a big ole wrench into the design. If we didn't buy THIS exact tile, we probably wouldn't find anything else that would work with "the design".

Needless to say, we didn't buy the tile at Lowes and YES, I opened my mouth . . . stated my opinion and then turned and walked away. I blew it with my husband . . . big time.

I am being brutally honest with this "post" because I came across a post on another blog today that hit me between the eyes . . .

"What We Hear Makes a Difference" by Holley Gerth at her "Heart to Heart" blog. Her post today spoke about the things we hear and the things that were actually spoken. (Insert BIG WARNING exclamation points HERE!) I won't use her examples, but if you want to read her post, click on Heart to Heart and it will take you right to it. Instead, I am going to continue with my "story". . .

Remember, I blew it . . .

My Hubs said, "this tile is probably special order".

I heard, "this is NOT the tile we should purchase".

My Hubs said, "I don't see any floor tile in THESE colors".

I heard, "I really don't know if I like the design".

My Hubs said, "Maybe we should go to a tile store to see if they have what we want for the walls and floor. We should buy it all in one place."



Can anyone relate? I felt like a "shopping failure" but it really was not my Hubs' intention at all. He was simply concerned that ordering or purchasing from two separate places would cause problems with the colors matching and we would hate the end result.

Wow! I am ashamed of myself. There was no reason I should have taken offense. Holley had some VERY helpful tips and I am going to type them up and put them on our message board to keep them handy!

Here is what Holley wrote:

Truth and perception can be two totally different things. What can we do to have a hearing check?

1) Ask - Simply say, "This is what I heard. Is that what you really said?"

2) Filter - Run whatever you hear through the truth of God's Word. Only receive what aligns with what God says.

3) Focus - A lot of times we misunderstand because we're only half-listening. If something seems odd to you, stop and give it your full attention until you really figure it out.

4) Err on the side of Grace - Most of the time people are not trying to discourage us. If you're not sure how someone intended a remark, give them the benefit of a doubt.

5) Pray that God helps you hear with His ears - He's the only one who can accurately perceive everything. And good news--His Spirit lives within you. Jesus promised the Spirit would "lead us into all truth."

After Lowes, we did go to a tile store . . . we did take that extra time to work out what we wanted. In the end, I truly believe we are going to LOVE the result. It was so much better to rethink it ~ together.

Tonight, as I write I wish I had a "Do Over" button to restart the day. However, we all know that is impossible. Instead . . . I guess I should hit the reset button by asking forgiveness from my Hubs and my son . . . yes, he was with us. Of course, I won't forget to kneel at the Throne of Grace . . . I need to ask forgiveness there too.

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