Wednesday, September 21, 2011

How Are We Doing?

This morning I headed into work after I dropped Emma, Mia and Beckett off for a day of beauty. Generally, Wednesday mornings everyone is excited to get out of the house to go and see Dawn . . . this morning was awkward . . . someone was missing . . . our Kamie girl.

I thought I was prepared to handle Kamie's death as the thought of it loomed over us for a better part of this year. As much as I tried to convince myself that it would be o.k., it isn't . . . we miss her. I miss her nose nudges when she wanted a rub or treat. I miss her exhales . . . she was pretty vocal. I miss her kisses and even her stinky breath. I miss rubbing her achy hips and thighs taken over by arthritis. I miss her companionship and love.

Emma is struggling a bit too. Kamie was 4 1/2 years old when Emma came into our family as a pup. Kamie and Emma took to one another like they had known each other forever. They loved one another. I can see the sadness in Emma's eyes . . . She misses her too.

Mia is also showing sadness . . . her beautiful eyes tell the story . . . she is heartbroken. Kamie was 7 1/2 when Mia joined our family as a 14 week old puppy.

Beckett is only five months old . . . she joined our family at 9 weeks old. Beckett did everything she could to charm Kamie . . . she used her cute little puppy antics, pouncing and barking at her. Kamie just didn't have it in her to play and would simply turn away from Beckett. I could see that Beckett was wondering why Kamie didn't "like"her. Many times I explained that Kamie could not hear her sweet little barks and that she was old and didn't have the energy to play. Regardless of Kamie's choice to ignore Beckett, lil' Beckett tried to win Kamie over until that very last day.

Katelyn is handling Kamie's passing better than I thought she would . . . Kamie was Katelyn's dog. Katelyn was 6 years old when we brought Kamie home. She loved her Sheltie and Kamie loved Katelyn just as much. Kamie followed Katelyn all over the house and yard . . . she was very loyal.

Ryan prefers not to let anyone see him cry. He has come to me and hugged me . . . telling me he was sorry that it was so sad.

Cameron sobbed and sobbed . . . he was upset that he didn't give her more loving before she passed away. Although he is trying to be strong, I know he is missing her too and almost called her name to take her outside.

EJ was beside himself with sorrow . . . that boy wears his emotions close to the surface. He sobbed and sobbed. He asked me if we could see her just one more time . . . of course, I had to tell him no we could not see her again.

Cody couldn't understand why . . . why did she have to die, why couldn't she just be with us, why was she sick . . .  I explained as much as I thought he could understand . . . being 5 years old. Then he amazed me . . . Cody asked me if he could pray for Kamie . . . I told him, of course you can . . . you can pray for anything that is on your little heart! So we bowed our heads and through sobs my little guy prayed for our precious Kamie . . . "God, please protect Kamie and keep her safe while she is in Heaven! Amen" What a sweet prayer! It still brings tears to my eyes!

Randy was broken by Kamie's death as well . . . even though this past few months she left a few packages that he stepped in . . . or should I say slid through. I still laugh hysterically every time I tell those stories!

Death is a really hard thing to understand . . .  family and friends are heartbroken . . . but the entire world continues on unaware. Death happens each and every day . . . People on the earth one minute and gone the next . . . yet the clock keeps ticking and life keeps moving forward.

I try very hard to teach my children to never ever take one another for granted. Be kind and loving to one another . . . always. I pray they will learn . . . they will remember that there is not a guarantee that any of us will live to be old and gray. The only way we will escape death is by the return of Our Lord Jesus Christ . . . Come quickly Lord Jesus!


Marva said...

Amen. Praying for your family!

jennifer said...

Aw Julie, I am SO sorry for your loss. And not just Kamie but all of the losses that your family has endured during the last 6 weeks. I think that your family, being as loving and Christ centered as you are, will bless each other while you go through this. Prayers for all of you.

Julie said...

Thank you so much Marva and Jen! You are both such blessings to us!

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