Saturday, February 13, 2010

PARENTING CAN BE SO FRUSTRATING!

Today has been a very un-nerving day . . .  our day has been consumed with lying, fussing, fighting, disobedience, disrespect and bossy britches.

May I speak freely? . . .  Thanks! 

My family is not perfect, not one of us. We are simply a family that God designed. Our days are just like yours, filled with challenges . . . Yes, Parenting Can Be So Frustrating!!! Today, was ONE of THOSE DAYS.

I read many blogs and the frustration from other Moms and Dads is out there . . . I can relate, My Hubs can relate. There are days that I hide a few extra minutes in the bathroom, just to regain a sense of sanity - how about  you? I know everyone really has those days, but few choose to admit it.

Children . . . you know what they are, in fact - you were one once and so was I. I know for many it was a very long time since you were a child and for others, it was just yesterday. If you think back hard enough though, you will remember a time or two that your parents were hiding out in the bathroom too! They were probably experiencing a bit of Parental Frustration. You also probably heard one of your parents say . . . when you grow up and have kids you will remember this day, because your child will try to do the same thing you tried, and You WILL find that your parent was RIGHT because your kids WILL try the same thing!

I have to stop here and say, Children . . . ARE a Gift From God, regardless of how each child came into your home - whether through birth, foster care or adoption, God knew they would be your child or children.  God CHOSE YOU to PARENT that CHILD!!! Whew, that is a Huge statement! 

Now a bit personal - Our Children are NOT perfect and Neither are We! Nope, not you and certainly not me. I started writing this post with an entirely different attitude . . . one that was very frustrated - but then the tone began to change. The day has been VERY challenging . . . the children were each doing their own thing regardless of what Mom and Dad had instructed. There was deceitfulness and lying, disrespect, arguing, bossiness, etc. - you name it, I think they tried it today and FRUSTRATION set in.

Parenting is so hard and kids . . . well they don't come with a handbook! We ALL Get Frustrated sometime . . .

As Parents, What Can We DO to Try and Avoid the Frustration?
  1. Do Not Allow Your Children to Manipulate You and Your Spouse. As Parents, we try very hard not to let the kids put us against one another. We try to remember to check with one another before allowing a child to do something or not do something.  I think children from the beginning of time have tried to get the answer they want from the other parent from time to time. Our children try this manuever once in a while . . .
  2. Do Not Give the Child an Ultimatim that you don't plan on following through with. In other words, do not tell the child - I am tellling you that if you do not put away the toys I will throw them away - if you don't intend on doing just that if the child disobeys. So, be careful of the words you put out there.
  3. Discipline - but not when you are angry. Discipline your child when they have done something that warrants discipline. Punishments in our home include Time Out, Loss of Privileges, Extra Chores. Time Out is self explanitory. Loss of Privileges includes - no television, no electronic games, no play time, no outside play . . . anything that is "extra-curricular" that the child enjoys is a Privilege. Extra Chores - also self explanitory.
  4. Take Time OUT - Not only for your children . . . Take a TIME OUT for YOURSELF! Make the children sit quietly while YOU take a few minutes for YOU!
  5. Take some time for Fun . . . Being cooped up inside for all of these winter months can be quite hard on you, your spouse, your children - the entire household! DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT. Have some fun . . . play with the kids, have games night, go for a drive . . . whatever you do, have fun.
  6. Don't Forget to Take Time With God. Take that special quiet time with God and ask HIM for guidance in parenting. It will amaze you at how God can help to curtail that Frustration. God time will also give you a personal boost!
  7. Pray over your Children. Pray for their struggles, Pray for who they are and who they will become. Pray for their Salvation.
There are days I have failed and let Frustration set in . . . Today was one of those days. I have to stop and re-read the words above . . . Then I have to question myself . . .
  • Did I lift my children up in Prayer today?
  • Did I pray and ask God for guidance?
  • When was the last time I played with each of my kids?
  • Have I gotten irritated and punished my children when I was angry?
  • Have I taken time ALONE with God today?
  • Have I broken a promise to my child?
  • Have I taken time out for me?
  • Do I fail to follow through?
More often than not, I have failed in one or more of the areas above. Parenting REALLY is the Hardest Job You will ever do and remember No ONE is a Perfect Parent!

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